[Update] I’ve noticed some traffic coming to this Vista upgrade log as the result of people seeking answers to similar problem I had. To help you out, I’ll extract the various problems/solutions to the top:

First note this is an upgrade from Windows XP Pro, SP2, to Windows Vista Ultimate on a Dell XPS 600, Dual Core Pentium Extreme Edition 3.2GHz, Overclocked to 3.6GHz, with 2GB of memory and an NVidia GeForce 7800 GTX with dual monitors. Your mileage may vary depending on your system configuration.

Problem: Expanding files hangs at 21%
Solution: Wait. it took 26 minutes on my 3.6Ghz dual core computer, on a slower computer I can see it taking an hour.

Problem: Stuck on “Completing Upgrade”
Solution: Wait. The total time spent staring at the screen with not a lot going on was about three hours. It pauses at various points.

Problem: Stuck on a black screen (or a blank screen) with a mouse cursor
Solution: If your hard drive is whirring away, then you might as well wait until it calms down. If it’s just flickering occasionally then you might have problems. Firstly you want to shut it down. With a black screen you can’t see the menus, but you could try pressing the Windows Key, then Right, Right, Right, then Enter. If after a minute this does not shut down the computer then you could try pressing the power button once, if that does not work, then hold down the power button for six seconds, if that does not work then just lank the power cord. Then unplug your second monitor and restart. If you don’t have a second monitor, then see the next problem

Problem: Won’t boot! Stuck on green bar!
Solution: (maybe), boot using F8 (tap F8 while booting until a menu comes up). Then select “Enable low resolution video”. If that does not work, then try F8 booting again and boot in “Safe Mode”.

And here’s my log:

10:05 Set off for Best Buy, stop on the way at Staples, they have boxes, but no software. Get lost, arrive Culver City Best Buy, find someone to unlock cage, get software (Vista Ultimate Upgrade). Home
11:00 Begin to open the box. Atrivial. Added stickers require scissors. Instructions in pictographs on the first sticker. Box eventually swings open.
11:05 Insert Vista DVD, click “Install Now”
11:06 Get the latest from the internet
11:09 Enter CD Key
11:10 Accept some user agreement, click on “Upgrade”
11:11 Checking compatibility……
11:14 Informed that several things might not work. Not that we can do anything about it, but oh, well.
11:15 Upgrading Windows ……. Your upgrade may take several hours to complete.Copying Window Files
11:20 Gathering files. (What? Gathering? Like, er, what is this “Gathering”)
11:22 Still Gathering, let’s see if I can walk the dogs before it asks me anything. Several hours? What is “several”?
11:42 Still Gathering. 80% complete (of the “gathering”). HDD light flickers intermittently, what is it doing? Downloading off the internet? That seems likely.
11:43 Sudden jump from 80% to 100% and now it’s Expanding Files, which is going much quicker
11:44 It sticks on expanding files 22%, then restarts my computer. Woot.
11:46 Ooo, nice green status bar as Vista boots up, kinda, as it’s now “Upgrading Windows”. Carries on “Expanding files”, but still at 21% Little dots … animate, telling me something is happening, or something is waiting for something. HDD Whirrs, still 21%
12:00 Still at 21%. Obviously it is doing something as my HDD light is flashing like a flashy thing. Much data is being shuffled. But why are we at 21%? I’m anticipating a big jump any second……..
12:12 Suddenly starts ticking up 25% 30% Whaa happened?
12:20 Missed some stuff, now it’s all “Please wait a moment while windows prepares to start for the first time ….”
12:25 “……………………………………..” (How long is “a moment”?)
12:27 “……………………………………..” (More dots, each new dot fills me with a mixture of hope and dissapointment)
12:32 “…………………………………”
12:34 Bam! Somehow we are now “Completing upgrade…”, just three animating dots now… The end feels near!
12:37 Both screens go black for a few seconds, then just the main one comes back, nothing has changed.
12:42 Now it’s scanning my external drive. Drat, I knew I should have switched that off. 300GB of scanning to go…
12:55 Now suddenly at 25%, and seemingly stuck there.
13:00 34% Stuck there now. Nearly two hours of installing now. Not that I had to stay and watch, which is good.
13:05 36% Seems do be doing some solid disk activity. The status bar at the bottom seems to indicate about 80% overall.
14:05 Had a nap. When I came back the screen was black. But it’s whirring away, presumably doing something.
14:17 Still churning away with a black screen. But then I moved the mouse, and I get a cursor. There seems to be some invisible space off to the right of the screen. Best to let it finish what it is “doing”.
14:23 It’s rebooting! Is this finally it?………. Screen is dusty.
14:25 It seemed to reboot to the same black screen with a lonely mouse cursor. I press enter a couple of times, and it seemed to start doing something. What fun! Now it’s churning away again. Endless churning.
14:32 Fan blowing, indicating the computer is thinking very hard about something. Hmm, I wonder if the new Aero desktop will require so much GPU fiddling that it will make my computer noisy.
14:33 Vista logo appears, plays tune, ping, ping, piing, pung, and vanishes. Whaa happened? More churning.
14:35 My desktop is back. In low resolution. It still seems to be doing something. The screen darkens, No menu bar yet. More churning.
14:44 Seem to be churning less. I right click on the desktop and choose “Personalize”, looking for some resolution settings. Gah! Somehow things seem to be off to the right.
14:49 I try rebooting. At least I think I do, I can’t quite tell. I tried ctrl-alt-delete and tab and enter, but the computer starts talking quietly to me in a robotic voice I can’t quite make out, am I going mad?. I press the power button, and it looks like it shuts down nicely. I’ve unplugged one monitor for now, to see if I can at least see what is going on. It’s safe mode for you after this boyo!
[Interlude - I pity any non-technical consumer who decides to buy this upgrade. I'm very technical, and have a lot of time to spare, but I'm really wondering if it's all worth it. Mmmm shiner icons! My advice: unless you can clearly articulate the benefits you will get from upgrading, just don't do it. Wait until you need a new computer]
14:56 Of course, now it just hangs when rebooting. Little green bar animating, nothing happening.
14:58 F8 – Enable low resolution video (not that it even got there, but worth a shot).
15:00 Welcome! Welcome? ping, pin ping. Yay, a taskbar. Right click, personalize, Okay, we seem to have arrived.
15:08 It keeps asking me questions. Hardware, software, all kinds of confusion. But it seems to be working. Now, what do I get for my money. Film at 11. (Oh, and that was about four hours)

Update: was it worth it? No, unless you’ve got lots of spare time, and are simply curious about the next stage of home computing (I’m specifically interesting in the entertainment aspects, but also game development in general). Wait until you upgrade your hardware.

And yes, my computer now makes more noise, since it’s doing more work. And it seems a lot slower, but more on that later.