Now I’m not normally one to complain, but I’m really baffled by the poor quality of the ordering process for Windows Vista. I’m was not even entirely sure if I wanted to upgrade, and then I thought – hey they must have an online download process. I can upgrade to Vista without leaving my chair! Since I’m all for transparent UI and all, I zip over to microsoft.com, where, sure enough, a few clicks takes me to the “Add to Cart” button, which I duly click, then enter my billing information, and, hey magic, “order complete!”. Two emails arrive in my inbox within seconds, one congratulating me, and the other thanking me and noting “When your purchase is complete, we will notify you by e-mail”.

So, I think, maybe another thirty seconds? They must have to process my credit card, then I can download the software. I wait a couple of minutes, then check my mail again. Nothing. Hmm. What could they be doing that takes so long? The second email has a link to my “digital locker”, I click on that and it tells me “You have one purchase pending”. I click on that and it takes me to my “Purchase history”, which tells me nothing I don’t already know.

Now what?

I wait.

Several hours later I spend some time digging through everything trying to find who to contact. The problem is everything is spread out. I started out at microsoft.com. I then go to windowsmarketplace.com to actually place the order, but the order is placed “with” Circuit City. What exactly is the need for Circuit City to be involved here? But anyway, I somehow email the “support team”, and go to bed.

In the morning, a promising email awaits. They direct me to a new site: findmyorder.com, and instruct me to enter my order number and password. I do this and get:

Which I click on, just for yucks, and get:

Clearly something is wrong. I go back, and try to look up my order using my email address and credit card. Bingo, this time I get to a page that says “Order Complete”, and give me a nice long serial number. Yes, this looks exactly like I’ve bought the software, but ….. there is no link to download it. Grrrr!!!!

My clicking options here are limited. I click on “view invoice”, and it gives me a page with slightly less information than on the previous page. I click on “Request a Return”, and I get a similar page, but this time I can ask for my money back. And now they can sense they might lose their money, so they add a “Contact Customer Service” link at the bottom. I click on it, it takes me to an email form, but there’s a phone number at the bottom. I call it.

An automated system answers, and give me a long list of options but apparently for all these options I must stay on the line. Suddenly a real human answers the phone and asks me if I have an order number. Super, I feel like it will all be taken care of in a few minutes. I tell her I can’t download the software since it was stuck on “pending”.

She says, “sometimes orders can take 24-48 hours to process”.

Aaaaaaargh! Brain explodes! What? Why? Stupid! WTF! You’ve charged my credit card, you’ve given me an unlock serial number, I just want to download the software! Clam down, calm down. I try to explain. It’s fruitless. I tell her my order is complete, and I have a serial number. She repeats 24-48 hours. I tell here about the errors, maybe something is wrong with my order? Can someone look at it? 24-48 hours. What is it doing? Well sir, the order is taking 24-48 hours, if you have a problem after that, you can call back. I sigh, and hang up.

What is going on here? I buy something, and pay money for it, I want to have it, or have a good reason why. I have bought physical software on Amazon that has arrived in less time. There is no excuse. Microsoft and Digital River and Circuit City have messed up. Something is wrong with their system. I’m going to cancel my order, and pop over to Best Buy. It galls me that Microsoft still gets the money, but I actually want to install Vista.

Coda: I have grown weary of buying Microsoft Office over and over again. Henceforth I will use Open Office, and pay no more. It dulls the pain somewhat.