Mick West

We just moved into a new house with a nice sized back yard, and our tiny little patio furniture was not going to cut it. I’d already been infected with the building bug that gets many people when they get their first real house, so I was more that happy to take on the task of building a table.

Since I had very little experience of woodworking (except for an O-Level, about 30 years ago), I started out making a few smaller pieces, a framed gate, some planters and then a large workbench for the garage. Along the way I acquired several tools (and built a small table for one of them), and eventually felt ready to build the table.

Design

I’m a bigbelieverin function over form. I’m also tall, so I don’t like trestles getting in the way of my legs, so I decided (in collaboration with Holly), to make a table with legs at the corners. I also wanted it to be eight feet long, and very sturdy. This is how it ended up:

It’s kind of a blend of two styles, “Farmhouse” and “Parson’s”. Farmhouse table are basically any big sturdy rustic looking table, like these:

Parsons tables are tables which have very rectangular lines, the legs are straight, rectangular, and right at the corners. The legs and table top in a classic Parsons table should flow together as if the entire table is carved out of one piece of wood, and the legs should be the same thickness as the table top. Like these:

Parsons tables have nothing to do with religious parsons, they were simply a design from the Parsons Paris School of Art and Design.

So, blend the two styles and we get the Parsons Farmhouse Table.

Wood

The table is made of Douglas Fir, which is about the cheapest wood available at Home Depot. I used mostly standard dimensions, so very little cutting was required. Pick pieces that are as dry as possible, as straight as possible, and as knot and damage free as possible.

The top of the table is five 8′ 2×8 planks of Douglas Fir. Since a 2×8 is 1.5×7.5 inches, and there’s small gaps between the planks, that means the table is about 36″ wide.

The legs of the table are 4x4s (so 3.5×3.5). They are very sturdy bits of wood.

The frame of the table is made up of 2x4s (1.5″ x 3.5″), there’s four pieces between the legs, then a center support, and three corner braces.

Size

The dimensions of the table are a function of the size of the longest piece of wood I could fit in my car, which is why it’s 8′ long. The width is up to you, but it’s going to be a multiple of the width of the planks you use, sothatlimits you a bit (unless you mix widths, you could toss in one or two 2x4s to get the size you want.)

The height is important. There are two things to consider. Firstly there’s the height at which the table top will be. Look at some existing tables to have to see what feels right for you. Consider that outdoor chairs are often a bit lower than indoor chairs, and patio tables are also often lower. You have to fit the chair as well as the person. I originally settled on 28.5″ from the ground to the top of the table.

Then there’s the height from the ground to the underneath of the table top frame. In this design the thickness of the table top plus the thickness of the frame takes off 5″. This is something I did not fully account for, and it meant that none of our chairs would fit under the table when I’d finished it. It was also a bit uncomfortable to sit at for me. So I fixed it by adding 1.5″ high slightly taperd feet to the bottom of the legs. This slightly spoiled the clean lines, and I wish I’d got it right the first time.

Sanding and Staining

The raw lumber is pretty rough. I sanded it all smooth with a DeWalt random orbit sander. first with 60 grit, then 200. I actually started the sanding with a little Black and Decker sander with no dust collector. This amount of rough sanding produces a LOT of dust, and after doing just one plank my lungs felt terrible. I bought a face mask, but the ultimate salvation was the the random orbit sander in conjunction with the DeWalt dust collection system (which is essentially just a shop vac, with a good filter). It’s practically dust free. An incredible difference. A good dust collector is essential to any woodworking.

Here’s a before and after of the sanded wood.

That just with 60 grit. A huge difference, and would also take forever to do by hand. Of course you could save yourself the time by buying more expensive wood that comes with a smoother surface already.

Then you’ve got to stain it (optional) and seal it (not optional, really). Staining was just one coat of Minwax Wood Finish, “Early American”, #230. Sealing was three or four coats of Varathane Diamond Spar Urethane, Water Based, Clear Satin. Outdoor, #2503. We did the staining before assembly, and two coats of the sealant. Two more coats were added after assembly.

Construction

Construction is the fun part. First I cut the legs, which you can see in the above image. You just need to remove enough wood so that the frame can rest on the shelf created, and be just below level with to the top of the leg (you’ll sand down the leg later). Since you are removing 1.5″ on two side you are left with a 2″x2″ stub of the leg. This is a type of lap joint, but the only thing that needs cutting is the legs. I started the cuts using my table saw, and then completed then using a Japanese pull saw.

I then assembled the ends of the table with glue (Titebond III) and clamps. The long 2x4s go the full length of the table, so the short end 2x4s only go 2″ onto the leg. Take care here (and at all times), to ensure that everything is as square as possible. Once the glue is set, it’s fixed forever. You could theoretically do it without glue so you could disassemble it later. But I wanted the extra shear strength.

Once the glue was set I added two more forms of reinforcement. Firstly I countersunk 3/4″ holes with a forstner bit in the 2×4 above the leg, then drilled a 6″ long 1/4″ hole down into the leg (you need an extra long bit for this). Then I screwed in a 6″ x 5/16″ lag screw (also called a lag bolt) with a washer. The hole was then liberally doused in sealant, as it’s potentially a place water could collect.

I also added a right angled bracket on the inside corner. There’s two of these for each leg, and they give more strength to the joint in the directions that are weak to the bolt alone. The wood is soft, so has a bit of give to it. If I JUST had the bolts, then I think the legs would quickly become loose as pressures on the bolts would compress the wood around them. But the combination of the glue, blots and brackets makes for a very strong joint. But we’ve not even finished there.

The process was them repeated for the long sides of the table frame:

This is where it’s very important to get things square. Check and check again as you clamp things together for gluing. Go round and round the table several times ensuring the frame is square both with the legs, and with itself. Do this before, during and after gluing. Use a rubber mallet to nudge it back square. Don’t neglect making sure the legs are vertical either (check they are square to the ground, or use a level).

The long stretchers in the frame are secured to the legs with two lag screws after the glue is set. Another angle bracket was added, and then I added a diagonal brace across each corner. This is just a 2×4, cut at 45 degrees, and secured with four wood screws, deeply countersunk. Just make sure you measure how deep the screw is going to go, so it does not come out the other side.

The blue lines show where the screws go. Note the angled brackets are fairly substantial. They are going to be entirely hidden away, so I felt fine using fairly clunky brackets for strength.

You then sand the assembly flat. Notice I’ve had to sand down the stretchers (the 2x4s), and not so much the top of the leg. This is not a good thing, as ideally you want the stretchers unaltered, and just sanding down the top of the leg. That’s why you make the leg cuts just a little deeper than the height of the stretchers.

Repeat on all four corners, and then add a central stretcher in the middle of the table. This is very import, as you need to fix the table top planks to this to prevent them from bowing. It also provides additional strength to the frame, stopping and potential bowing of the sides. You could also add another four diagonal braces, but providing the table top is firmly attached all around the frame it’s not really needed. You might consider it if you are using more floating-type fasteners for the top

To attach the center brace I used pocket hole screw, making the holes with a Kreg Jig. Since it’s under the table you could just do it manually. You could also use angled brackets like were used in the corners. Be very careful to make sure the top of the center brace is level with the surrounding 2×4 stretchers.

That’s it for the frame. The next step is to add the planks to for the table top. They should have one or two coats of sealant before this. Just lay the planks on top. They will have a slight bowing, so lay them so they bow up in the middle. Gravity will flatten them over time, but we can hurry this along by screwing them down. I just used little angled brackets to attach the table top. There are several methods of attaching a table top, but this is quick and easy. It’s also easy to re-do if the table top shrinks. You don’t want anything too permanent, otherwise you’ll end up with a warped table.

First attach them to the center. To do this place a large weight on them, enough so that any bowed plank will be flush against the center brace. The easiest way is to have someone sit on the table in the right place. Then screw all the brackets for the center brace, then repeat for the sides and ends.

Then add another two coats of sealant. Sand lightly between coats (I used a 200 grit sanding sponge, which is ideal). Add some friends, and enjoy.

[UPDATE] Eight months later it now January, the middle of winter. It’s rained several times. The table is still in good shape, but the raw wood has leaked spots of sap in several places, so I’m going to have to re-finish the top surface. This is pretty much due to me getting cheap wood. The boards have also shrunk a bit in width, leaving slightly large gaps in the table top.

My new endeavor:

metabunk.org

Very cool trail map, from a more useful perspective than the usual one:

http://mickwest.com/mammoth/

iMovie is a nice little program. Unfortunately it’s a little too little. It has no native support for the AVCHD format, which means it has to import those files and convert them to it’s own format (a .mov file that uses Apple’s Intermediate Codec). This takes up more space, but it’s only a working file, so fair enough. Being in this intermediate format means the it’s quick to work with.

So, how it SHOULD work is: you start iMovie, then plug in the camera’s USB cable, and it will open a window, show you your clips, and you hit “Import All”, and it just works. Yeah right.

Of course, you had a problem, which is why you are here. Something like “No camera connected”? or “Folder is not a Camera Archive”?

Now you probably know that AVCHD files are stored in the .MTS format, and if you look at your camera (open up the NO NAME volume that mounts when you plug the camera in), then you’ll see that in /PRIVATE/AVCHD/BDMV/STREAM there are several .MTS files which contain your video.

What you CAN do is work with the .MTS file directly, and convert them using a program such as VoltaicHD, which is designed specifically for this purpose. This works fine, you drop in an MTS file, click go, and it will produce a .MOV file about 7x the size. You can then import this into iMovie with File->Import->Movies. This then creates ANOTHER copy of the file, this time about twice the original size.

Well that’s one solution, but why can’t iMovie import the files directly?

The simple answer to that is “You broke it”.

iMovie expects to find an AVCHD folder, and the various files inside that, which contain thumbnails, playlists and other meta-data. This data must match up with the .MTS files, and is very fragile. The easiest way to break it is to delete one of the .MTS files, which is something you’d likely do after copying it manually to your PC.

And once the AVCHD folder is messed up in any way, like by deleting any file in it, then it’s broken forever. You can record new files, and you’ll still not see them, and iMove will tell you that’s not a camera you just connected, even though you know that it is. The only thing you can do is delete the ENTIRE AVCHD folder, or (preferably) format the memory card. Once you’ve done this, record some new video, start iMovie, plug in the camera (in PC mode) and you will be able to import.

Things to do:

* Already have an .MTS file? You’ll have to convert it before you import it. Use VoltaicHD, or maybe Handbrake. There’s talk of “recreating the directory structure”, but it all you have is the .MTS then it’s not going to work.
* iMove can’t detect your camera, even though the volume shows up the desktop? Copy all the files off it, and reformat the card.
* Want to delete some files? Delete them using the camera, or delete the whole folder. If you delete individual files from the computer, then iMovie will no longer detect your camera.
* Want to keep the original files for archive purposes or just make room on the camera, but don’t want to convert them yet? You can quickly copy the entire AVCHD folder to your hard drive. Then you can import this later with File->Import->Camera Archive…

Remember: NEVER CHANGE ANYTHING INSIDE AN AVCHD FOLDER.

So my naturalization oath day finally arrived. It in Pomona, which is about 60 miles from here, and they said to arrive at 12:30. So I set off around 11, and arrived around12 (unusually clear traffic for LA). When you arrive it’s pretty much a case of follow the signs. There was a huge queue of cars at the gate (gate 17, not 14 as they listed on the note), and they charge $9 for parking.

Then just follow the streams of people into the fairground, it was quite a long walk (about half a mile total), and I’m glad it was not too hot.

Then we are separated out into “Future Citizens” and “Family and Friends”. I joined the “Future Citizens” line (click any of these photos for big versions)

Eventually we all get inside, there’s a bunch of tables where they take away your green card (gone forever!) and write a number on your appointment letter.

Then we were given small American flags and sat down, and waited for the ceremony to begin. This seems to take rather a long time, and I think we actually start around 1:30.

That’s the last photo I took. If you look in the upper left you can see a small area for family and friends to view the ceremony. I think that space is very limited, crowded standing room only, and a lot of people ended up outside. The ceremony started with some calling to order (seing as how it was actually a court, with a Judge and all). Pretty much the first thing we did was stand a take the oath:

I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state or sovereignty, of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the armed forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.

This was done by the Judge reading it out a bit at a time, and everyone (3500 people) repeating it. This was not so simple, as the sound system was terrible, and it was hard to hear what he was saying, especially with words like “abjure” and “potentate” in there. Still, we got through it, and then everyone clapped and waved their flags.

Next someone gave a speech, which I think was about the history, honor, and responsibility of being an American citizen. Unfortunately I was only able to hear one word in ten.

Next they played us a video of Lee Greenwood singing “God bless the USA“, set to a montage of images of America – Steel Mills, Mountains, Birds, Oceans, People, etc. This seemed a little asecular to me, but what can you do.

We then pledge allegiance to the flag, sang the national anthem, and that was the ceremony over. We were shuffled back to the tables where we went the the table number we were given earlier to collect our certificates.

A that point you are done and can leave. But I chose to go and apply for a passport in the next building. This took another hour, with the long line. Plus they take away your certificate (will be mailed back later), and you are technically not allowed to make a copy of it, so you will be left without evidence of citizenship during that time, except for the reciept they give you, and the letters you had from earlier. Passports take 2-4 weeks, so although I’m a fully legal American citizen now (feels a bit odd writing that), the process is not quite over.

[Update: My passport arrived in three weeks, with the certificate mailed separately]

The next to last part of applying to become a US citizen is the naturalization interview, where they make sure you are a worthy enough person to have the right to become a citizen of the US. Mine was scheduled for today, at 7:45 AM.

So I get up at 6AM, and set off. They say don’t arrive too early. I get to the Federal Building (300 N Los Angeles St, Downtown LA) at around 7:30. There’s a short line outside, and it’s raining. The guard directs me to the end of the line. I did not bring an umbrella.

I’m in the line for about 10 minutes, not raining too hard luckily. Then through security – there’s a sign saying “No cameras”, but they don’t seem to mind cell phones with cameras built in. I proceed to the 6th floor, into a moderately large room with many people of all ethnicities. I give my form to the lady behind the window, and take a seat.

People get called every minute or so. Many people seem to be couples, or maybe people with lawyers. Many people are practicing their civics questions. I use the flash cards on my iPhone for a while, but I’m already about 99% sure I’ve got them all, and I only need 60%.

My name gets called after about 45 minutes, and my interviewer, Mr Rivera, takes me back to his office, on the way there he makes a copy of my greeen card and my drivers license. When in his office I have to be placed under oath, standing up, right hand raised, promising to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

He then asks a bunch of questions, like: “have you ever been arrested for drunk driving” and “have you been a communist”. He asks me if I pay my taxes, and then if I’ve brought my tax returns with me. I did not.

He then turns to his computer and prints out the actual test part of the interview, consisting of ten questions, that he asks verbally, of which I have to get six right. My six were (with my answers):

• Who is in charge of the executive branch? (The President)
• Name one right guarenteed by the first amendment? (Freedom of speech)
• Why did the first colonists come to america? (Freedom of religion)
• Describe one amendment to do with voting (Women’s right to vote).
• What was the main US concern during the cold war (Communism)
• If the President is incapacitated, who takes over (The Vice-President)

That’s it. There were four more questions, but all you have to do is get six right, so they stop when you do. We then moved on to test my mastery of english, which was a two part exam, firstly reading – where he gave me a piece of paper, on which was written:

Which state has the most people?

Which I read aloud, then he gave me another piece of paper, and told me to write “California is the state with the most people”, which I did. There were spaces on both pieces of paper for multiple attempts, but I managed to get it first time! I think that because it was obvious I could read and write, he was just doing the minimum required to get the paperwork done. The tests both went into my file.

It seemed like we were done, but he then informed me that they need to keep my tax returns on file, as I was self employed. He then told me I could bring it in today or tomorrow, or mail it in – but mailing it in could take a really long time to process. So I said I would bring it in today.

So, another 45 minute drive home, then I printed out five years of federal tax returns, sorted out the bits that were needed (1040, including the bit on self-employment tax). He kept saying I’d need business tax returns, but I think he thought I ran a small business.

Anyway, drove back, the room is now totally packed, must be 400 people in there, but I tell the guy at the window I’m returning with documents, and he goes back and tells MrRivera, who comes and gets me after about five minutes.

Then that’s about it. He examines my tax returns, seems to think they are in order, adds them to my file (which is now about two inches thick – they use a LOT of paper). He rustles through the file for a while, then eventually gets out his big APPROVED stamp, and stamps a few pages, hurrah!

So then he gives me a piece of paper (N-652) saying I was approved, and tells me the Oath Ceremony will be in a few weeks, and I’ll get a letter. I can also apply for a passport directly after the ceremony.

Not too bad really. Pity they did not make the information about bringing tax returns more apparent, but it just added two hours to the process, and was just annoying rather than a problem. One thing I was worried about as I arrive was that I just brought my current passport, and not the one I entered the country with originally. But he asked for neither, so all was well. If in doubt though, bring everything.

I’m currently living in the US as a “premanent resident”, with what is known as a “green card”. This means I can live here as long as I like, but I’m not a citizen. I can’t vote, I can’t leave the country for more than six months at a time, and there are some tax problems.

On Election day this year, November 4th 2008, I decided to apply for citizenship, and so filled in my form and sent it off. This is what happened so far (I’ll update it as more thing happen).

Nov 4th 2008

- Filled in the N400 form. This can be downloaded from the slightly confusing USCIS web site. It’s a PDF that you can fill in at your computer and then save and print out. I’m sure eventually they will accept it over the internet, but for now you’ve got to mail it in.
- Took some passport photos. These have to be ratther particular, 2″x2″. There’s a nice page explaining all the details, or you can just pay someone to do it for you. You need to send them two, and keep two for later. I did them myself, Holly took a photo of me with a white background, and I cropped it to fit. You write your “A Number” on the back of the photo, in pencil.
- Wrote check for $675. Somewhat expensive.
- Sent it all in (I actually did the above over a few days, but I mailed it on election day).
(There’s a handy checklist for the above).

Nov 13th 2008

An I-797C Notice of Action arrives, telling me my application has arrived, and I should hear from them within 425 days. Yes, it actually said 425 day.

Nov 20th 2008

Rather surpisingly, I hear from them a week later, with a letter telling that I have an appointment to be fingerprinted on december 4th, at 12 PM. Not too bad. But I think the long wait comes after, waiting for the interview.

Dec 4th 2008

Fingerprinting day. I arrive at 11:40 for my 12PM appointment. Not very busy. They are very serious about their “No Cellphone” rule, making me leave mine in the car. I fill in a form, and am called in less than five minutes. The fingerprinting took arount 10 minutes (a grumpy Russian woman, constantly berating the machine). My fingers were too dry, so they were squirted with water several times, but eventually it worked.

They game me a book to study for the Naturalization test, questions like: What is the “rule of law”. Now I just have to wait until an interview is scheduled. No idea how long that will take.

Dec 18th 2008

I’ve got my appointment for the interview. Set for Feb 17th 2009, at 7:45AM.

Feb 17th 2009

Naturalization interview.

March 3rd 2009

I get a letter informing me that the Naturalization Oath Ceremony is on March 25th, 2009, at the Pomana Fairplex, 12:30 PM. I am to bring the letter, my green card, probably my passports (just to be safe). I also have to assert that since the interview I have not practiced polygamy or been a habitual drunkard.

They also note that “Proper attire should be worn”

March 25th 2009

Naturalization oath ceremony, I’m now an American. Applied for passport.

April 15th 2009

Passport arrives, and the Naturalization certificate was returned in a separate envelope. Basically five and a half months from applying to getting the passport and certificate.

Back in 1993 I took a trip to Nepal with my ex-girlfriend Carol. I took a lot of photos on that trip, and finally got around to scanning them in:

http://picasaweb.google.com/mickword/Nepal1993#

Six days of the trip were trekking near Pokara, in the Annapuran region. This is approximately the route we took:

From Nepal 1993

It’s about the easiest trek you can do. We walked for about five hours a day, maybe a bit more, but were really only walking 5-8 miles. It was a lot of up and down though. The heights on the map are in meters.

This is how I got started programming, 20 years ago, 1988:

Actually I started a few years earlier, but this is probably where I really got into writing code, and writing games. That’s a Sinclair ZX-Spectrum in a dK’tronics keyboard. Microdrive on the left. TV as a monitor. Sound sampler plugged in the back, plotter on the right. Cassette player (from before I got the microdrive). I still have that pink folder under the calculator. This is all on my desk in my room at Needham Hall, from when I was at UMIST (now Manchester University).

This is in Hebden Bridge, near to Bingley, where I grew up. If my life had a taken a few different turns, this could have been me:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8548110@N06/516706022/